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Category: Humor & Satire

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The White House: Fishing for Chaos

OPEN SCENE: WHITE HOUSE OVAL OFFICE. President Obama and Defense Secretary Ashton Carter sit on a couch, playing the card game Go Fish on the coffee table. OBAMA: You got any threes? CARTER: Go fish. Obama draws a card from the “ocean” of cards spread...

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U of Texas Gunners Stay No. 1 in Wins/Killings

The University of Texas Longhorn Gunners re-holstered their top National Campus Carry ranking Saturday by defeating No. 7 Oklahoma State with 1,245 confirmed killings to 1,207 before a crowd of 94,356 screaming survivors in Longhorn Stadium. It took a rally by Longhorn captain Barry “Shooter”...

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NukeGarble: “Good Guys” Gab About EndGame

Open to The Oval Office: President Obama is seated on the couch with his laptop. He’s playing the old videogame “Nuclear War”. He’s vying with four of the electronic characters on the screen: Infidel Castro, Mao the Pun, Mikhail Gorabachef, and Ronnie Raygun. In the...

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900 Republicans Announce for President

The Republican presidential sprint has turned into a mass marathon. The headcount this week amassed to 900 candidates — the field ballooning ironically following the announcement that the Koch Brothers — Charles and David — are contributing $900 million to a field of GOP competitors....

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“The French Disconnection”: A Surreal Reality Show

OPEN to OVAL OFFICE. DAY. President Barack Obama alone at his desk, gazing at his laptop. His monitor shows activity of the video game “Grand Theft Auto V”. He’s directing Protagonist 1 in a heist. PREZ: Oh…man…yeah…Oh yeah!… His phone buzzes. He picks it up....

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This Christmas…You’ll Want to Want WANT!

Are you tired of being happy with what you’ve got? Do you want to want more? Well, have I got a deal for you. Just in time for the holidays, we are releasing our revolutionary new product, Want. It’s as easy as rubbing on the cream, in...

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